Silence means I am NOT okay.

I have genuine gestures. What you see is what you get.
Don't listen to my words when I am down. What you hear is usually not the truth.

I don't go wild when I am angry. I even hate explaining myself during those times. I opt to be quiet and suppress all the negative emotions (which, I know, is bad T_T). From a very loud and fun-loving person, being silent obviously means something's wrong. So please quit asking. Questions such as "are you ok" and "what's wrong" can worsen my inner struggles.

Sorry for those I mistreated and who got bothered by my mood swings.

I talk happily then become silent again. I try to wander or sleep, go back or wake up to talk about something, and then wander or sleep again. I am not being weird. That's actually my way of trying to be okay... But in the end, will always fail.

Don't worsen the situation by keeping yourself away from me. Please don't be afraid, I don't bite. You can always act cool and talk to me just like the usual. Don't mind my cold response.. Just please keep talking.. Until I win myself back. This, so far, is the only method that really works.

I am sincerely sorry. Please be patient. I am fighting against my hollow form T_T



PS. I posted this up to make my actions clear. I usually can't talk about this in person. So, if by any chance you get to read this, please don't bring this up to me during our conversation.