Today I learned 2 things...

... to make a decision and to trust Him more.

I am not just skeptical, I am also sensitive. I value friendship so much. I am always fascinated how this rotten world becomes a better place because of the love shared by friends.

Back in my first year of high school, I tried hating a classmate because my friend asked me to. I know it wasn't nice but I did it for the name of friendship. But that's just too childish, and I won't recommend it. So yeah.... I strongly believe that friends should stick together! No. Matter. What.

No one should be left behind. No one should leave someone.

That's why, it hurts. To be that "someone". Call me overacting but that's how I felt.

Just a "friendly" advice (in case someone else gets to read this), never give false hopes. Because you have no idea how painful it would be to found out that everything was just for a short period of time. If you're not sure, don't assure. If you can't withstand your friend's pain, then don't just give her your handkerchief. Be there! Stay with her! But if it's impossible for you to do all that, then don't say anything; just pray for her.

So today, I learned to make a decision. And not to rely on someone else. Cuz you'll never know, she might have great plans for herself, and you may not be part of it. Or maybe, she doesn't want to drag you, cuz she's thinking, you might not feel going with her. Hmmm... The latter's convincing. But she should have asked me first! :'( Okay, nevermind.

And I am not just sensitive, I am also a coward.

I have so many fears - and these are caused by all the doubts I have on myself. But I guess, this one is just so perfect to calm me down..

The drive to be good. The thirst to improve. At least I have all that. Hoping, that would be enough... maybe, for now. But wouldn't it be a good start? Then let's create a progress from that!

And hoping, 4-5 months from now, I can attest that this is true...

Yoshi! Let's go!

Let's be fearless.. He's with us!

PS. I ignored 2 friend's chat because of this tough time. Sorry Gisela and Claire.. I wasn't in myself. I was avoiding to hurt you. Will resume fan girling (for Gisela) and sharing silly jokes (for Claire) maybe later. Sorry...