Today, I shared to a dear friend the reason why I resigned from my almost 6-year job as a Technical Manager and PH Team Leader.
After that quick conversation, I thought that I felt a little lighter.
A heavy weight was lifted off my chest.
"You wanted to know when are you totally healed?
It's when you already have the courage to share that painful story of yours without aching but praising God that He allowed it to happen, because you've been finally set free."
June 30, 2021 was my last day at office. I felt so much pain and bitterness since then that I have been constantly asking the Lord to heal me.
Seeing this post in my Facebook feed after talking to my friend today, I praise the Lord as it reminded me that I am healed and He is my healer.
Three months ago, after getting the "freedom", I was thinking of writing all my emotions out here to take it out. But a part of me didn't want to relive the memories again. I was afraid to be more in pain.
But today, it's a different story. My heart is full of so much joy, filled by the Lord's mercy and grace.
I am writing this to relive the memories. To remind myself that the Lord is faithful and amazing. He is my ultimate source and healer.
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Sep 9, 2015:
I started my journey as a Junior Developer for a Trading-Manufacturing company based in China that has an office in PH in an online job setup.
Fast forward... it was fulfilling, full of surprises and thrill, mix of drama and laughter.
Within the 6 years, I took different roles such as HR, Admin, Project Manager and Accounting Manager to fulfill my responsibility as a Technical Manager and PH Team Leader.
In between, people would ask...
"are you happy?"
"why are you still there?"
"don't you want to quit?"
I was happy, yes.
I stayed because I knew it was a place God has prepared for me.
To quit, yes, I wanted to so many times. But, going back to why I was there, regardless if I was happy at that moment or not, I chose to stay for the same reason.
Doing something for the Lord - be it creating a report, helping a teammate on her personal problem, or washing the dishes - just by constantly inviting Him in everything, the inner joy was the fruit of that labor. Work turned to worship, that fueled me to push more.
However, things have gone very rough as years went by.
Jan 19, 2021:
I officially told my CEO through a video call that I wanted to resign because I was exhausted.
It was before Chinese New Year holiday, and I told him that I can think it over again during the 2-week holiday to take a rest and see if my decision will change.
Feb 24, 2021:
I talked to my CEO for my decision and I sent out my resignation letter after that.
I rendered my turnover after to complete my pending projects, closed and transferred my HR/Admin accounts, and looked for people to hire so the operation can go on.
Jun 27, 2021:
My CEO planned a farewell party, and my amazing team prepared and did it with a blast. I felt thankful but I knew in my heart, something was off.
Something was heavy.
Jun 30, 2021:
I sent my last "out" and officially signed off with a deep breath.
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Looking back, I just felt happy and thankful for the Lord who sustained me in my journey, who allowed me to take part on His plan, who wrapped my character with lessons and experiences and who blessed me with a strong and loving partner, supportive family and relatives, understanding friends, and random strangers turned to angels.
Although I know at some point, I hurt few people that I didn't get a chance to reconcile with. I am hoping that we can forgive each other, get healed and move on. And maybe one day, when we bump into each other, we can laugh everything off.
It was quite a rough ride, but I am definitely thankful for the "thousand-mile" journey.
Today, it has been two months since the Lord has blessed me with a new job as a Project Coordinator for an ecommerce provider based in California. I also get some time to help my cousin as an IT Consultant for her retail and wholesale company based in Naawan and Initao.
This new chapter allows me to open my eyes to more opportunities, to dream bigger while spending more time with my loved ones, and to choose love over any worldly treasure.
As my colleague said, "work or money is our resource, but the Lord is our ultimate source".
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"Sometimes your greatest testimony is that you went through the fire, but you don't even smell like smoke. And sometimes, sometimes the lingering scent of smoke is your testimony - a reminder to all that even in the hottest fire, God protected you from the flames. Either way, God is with you and all the glory belongs to Him alone."
- Glaiza, Lottie, Bespren
(taken from the sweet notes of my amazing team)
“He turned my sadness into gladness, He turned my sorrow into joy.”
Psalm 30:11-12
To God be the glory ☺♥
